Gutaeng hyung

Yesterday morning, I was shocked with tragic news from South Korea. The actor Kim Joo Hyuk passed away in Seoul following a fatal car accident on October 30, 2017.

Photo courtesy of Google images.

As is my habit, I decided to put pen to paper as soon as I heard. As I jotted down fragmented thoughts, reflected, talked, and scribbled those ruminations, I recognized that I was writing for two people—myself and my sister. I wrote to make sense of the profound sadness that followed such news. Who was this man? Why mourn for someone I never met, let alone if I had, wouldn’t have been able to communicate with because we spoke different languages? After briefly talking to my sister at lunch regarding the news, I muttered to myself, “Aigoo! Why are my words choking me?” Later in the afternoon, the deaths of Tom Petty and Fats Domino crossed my mind. I did not post my thoughts on their deaths, but I knew a well-meaning loved one would ask, “Why devote a post to this unknown celebrity death and not theirs?” The truth is, I did write about their deaths in my personal writings. I simply didn’t share with the world since terrible news overshadowed their deaths. And in the days that followed, I was comforted with the nostalgic memories of their music. It lives on. Kim Joo Hyuk is different because his charms were something new to me.

I became aware of Kim Joo Hyuk this summer. It goes without writing, but this entire year has been depressing, so much that by the start of the summer, my body was physically and mentally hurting. Back pain, food aversion, and insomnia prevented me from fully embracing life. In this wretched state, my sister introduced me to a Korean travel variety show called 2 days 1 night (2d1n or 1 day 2 nights, 1d2n). The night that I decided to watch it, I was in so much physical discomfort that I couldn't lay on my bed. I stretched my legs and settled on the floor to try to relax and watch the show from my laptop. It took one episode to fall in love with the cast, the country (South Korea), and its culture. The guys—Kim Jongmin, Kim Junho, Cha Taehyun, Jung Joonyoung, Defconn, Yoon Siyoon, and Kim Joo Hyuk—momentarily distracted me from the physical pain I felt with their humor and antics. I laughed for the first time in days. The more I watched, the better I felt mentally. I unfailingly watched three years worth of episodes at night throughout the summer. Eventually, my physical pain subsided with proper therapy. More importantly, curiosity returned as I became enthralled with Korean history, culture, and language. I began teaching myself how to read Hangul and committed to taking Korean language courses and eating more octopus.

I knew that one day, I would viscerally respond to tragic news of any of these entertainers because of the joy they gave me during that painful phase. That day came too soon. To more than one person, I have stated, “I pity the Xazmin who is unaware of these guys in the countless other universes that exist for she is, undoubtedly, a sad one.” In other conversations, I expressed my sentiment more appropriately with these buoyant words, "I am grateful that I live in a world in which that show [2d1n] and its people exist." 

And that still rings true in the moment. My life is more enriched because of the show and the people who make it happen. It has introduced me to a vibrant culture that I admire. There are many who knew Kim Joo Hyuk personally who will feel his loss more acutely than me or my sister. But I think that my simple post is testament to his genuinely endearing persona. I join with fans worldwide to "Remember each member forever", especially the cast members gutaeng hyung, Kim Joo Hyuk. 

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day!

I will take this opportunity to shower some attention on my dad, a man who prefers I do not share anything, but will be a good sport about it when I do. 

It goes without stating, but my dad is one of the 'good ones'. He belongs in an elite category of men through history who can only be described as the "best of men." What warrants this distinction? 

In the history of my life--as recorded in thousands of personal writings--my dad was there to support, encourage, and uplift. He has played a significant role in shaping my character. And isn't that the ultimate duty of a loving parent? Aside from providing food and shelter, parents have the hefty responsibility of raising somewhat balanced individuals who contribute to society. Agree or disagree, I am positive that my stubborn personality was refined by parents who took the time to talk and listen. I will share one example for this post.

As a child, my dad would wake with the rising sun and ask the family if we would like to join him for a morning walk or run. He would always mention that when he was a kid his dad would dump buckets of cold water on him and his brother as a wake up call to begin their run to the east (Navajo tradition). My dad did not resort to such tactics, but I figured if he could get up and run, I could too. I may not have been the natural athlete he was, but I would get up and go. Years later, I still prefer early morning runs. I attribute much of my scrappiness to those simple yet consistent experiences of pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I credit my dad with giving me those opportunities to prove my scrappiness so that when I left home, I would be able to fly. 

Two scrappy Navajos, a grandpa and his grandson, hiking near Page, AZ.
Fun fact: I still run these trails when I visit the parents.     

Three curious, fun-loving, scheming individuals.
In other words, a grandpa encouraging the next generation of scrappy Navajos.