Delaney's Riddle

So here’s the background dirt to this post: I am a bright, kinda funny, youngish, not terribly goofy-looking individual with two X chromosomes. Pertinent to this post, I am also an uncaged bird (if you catch my drift). This presents a kerfuffle to some well-intentioned circle of friends and family who desire to see me captured... someday.... soon...

Now herein is the problem—despite being cognizant of the need to form special companionships, I “lack a sense of urgency” to obtain one. Of course, this frustrates both parties. For me, I resolve the issue by writing this post. For the opposition, hopefully they will read it and get moving to help Delaney solve the riddle.

Brief background on Delaney: Delaney is a friend who looks like Galadriel, the Lady of Galadhrim “the fairest of the elves who remained in Middle Earth”. She is also my unofficial therapist. One chilly December day, I realized someone stole my brain*. It was on the top of my car and I recall patting it for luck before I walked to the lab that morning. When I returned to my car in the afternoon, it was gone! Delaney was with me when I exclaimed, “Someone stole my brain!” I then told her everything, thereby exonerating me from being admitted to a psych ward, and making her my personal shrink. One final detail about Delaney is she was forced into liking multi-variable calculus the past semester. Not by me. However now that the thought is there, I think that if I had grand power to do so, I would force everyone, in the very least, to like multi-variable equations. It would make the following riddle easier to solve.

The riddle: In the past, I have been given the prompt to list desirable qualities in a future companion (YW's... age 12-17). Instinctively, I disliked the prompt for a list written then did not take into account the scope of personalities I had yet to meet. Happily, I did not allow the activity to distress me. I went ahead and made a list, fully aware that I could add or detract from the list over time or even dismiss it altogether. The latter is what happened. Now these many years later, I have returned to writing a list. These lists are for Delaney to use in a multi-variable system that optimizes my probability to meet someone compatible to my er... wishes. Luckily, I found part of the answer to Delaney's Riddle because of the following equation. Solve for "i'.

Get it? I have even taken the initiative to affix meaning to the three variables in the equation.

u: (the fella and his qualities, talents, whatever)

Atticus Finch........................................a.................The Art of Manliness says it all.

Surname beginning with O-.................b.................You will figure this out by the end of the post

Ex-Noodles & Company chef..............c..................4 words: Wisconsin Mac and Cheese

Mechanic.............................................d..................I am a loyal fan of those with such skills

i: (me and what I would consider some strengths)

Emperor penguin...............................m..............I aspire to have such bravery

Magical...............................................n.................Extensive magical knowledge of HP’s world

Troll doll.............................................o.................Who wouldn’t want to grow old with one?

Scientist.............................................p..................This is my true magic.

x should forever be a mystery ;)

The mystery of “x” is unimportant for this riddle. It cancels out. The message is clear and simply sweet. The riddle is to assign constants to the variables of the two lists (a, b, c, d and m, n, o, p) in order to write the multi-variable equations that reflects the weight of certain attributes and the diminishing value of other attributes over time. It’s a heavy task. With respect to the equation above, I can easily attach 7 to the “i” and “u” only because this is the most magical number in the wizarding world. It is a powerful numeral. Naturally, I will associate it with me and whoever crosses/joins my path. The three is typically associated as a heavenly numeral. It seems that it would go well with the variable “x”, at least for now.

This is where my brainpower tires.

-X.O.

;)

*There is a lengthy backstory to The Brain. If you have read A Wrinkle in Time, the story is easier to digest. Basically, this classic children's book was made into a theatre production that was performed at the Minneapolis Children's Theater. I went to the event with two of my favorite MN friends--Lauren and Shanna. The summary of our experience: we were scared of The Brain. Loud bangs and flashes of light that rivaled the light of the sun followed by twenty seconds of blindness were just a small part of the terrifying experience. Days later, I returned to my parked car on the UMN campus to find a gelatinous tiny brain affixed to the top of my car. It was The Brain! Due to the lovely Minnesota cold, the brain became a piece of my car... UNTIL the day that I describe above....