Who is tito?

-Who is TiTo?

I would like to take this time to recognize all of my faithful followers, which as of today totals four. It is to this fourth follower that I want to share the following story. This past weekend, I signed into my blog to write about my nightly jaunts to the lab and vent about the worst TV episode in the past century. To my delight, I noticed that I had one more follower... by the name of tito. I asked myself, “Who is tito?” I was aware of only one Tito- Tito Jackson—the older brother of Michael Jackson and original member of the Jackson Five. That is where my knowledge ended. I called my younger brother to see if he would answer as I just did. He did not. The conversation went something like this...

Me: “Hey, do you know of any Tito’s?”

Brother: “Which one?”

[It was as if I had been hit with a confundus charm. An onslaught of questions sprang to mind—How many tito’s DID he know? How common is that name Tito? How could more than one Tito elapse my radar? What kind of name is Tito? Is it short for something? And why had I not known any more Tito’s? I realized this was ridiculous on my end, so naturally I burst into laughter at my brother.]

Me: “You know more than one Tito?”

Brother: “Yeah, you don’t remember Tito Ortiz? There are also a few Tito’s I knew in Mexico—”

Me: “—What about Tito Jackson you nerd?!”

[To my chagrin, he acted as if I cast on him the rictusempra spell (tickling charm). It was his turn to laugh at me... and keep on laughing before he asked..]

Brother: “Is that the only Tito you know? Tito Jackson?”

So to my tito follower, thank you for giving me the chance to Wikipedia the Tito’s of history. There is Josip Broz Tito, Tito Puente, Tito Ortiz (which I really should have remembered), Tito Francona, etcetera, etcetera. I do not know how this information will help me in future conversations, but more power to me.

-My mom snagged a unicorn.

According to the blog Native Appropriations, “...educated, motivated Native men are like unicorns... magical, mystical creatures that you’ve never heard of, and special enough that if someone gets one, they’re holding on and not letting go.” Yep, my mom is one lucky gal.

-My dad nabbed a P.I.G.

As I was talking to my parents about unicorns and blood quantum, my dad interjected that my mom was a pig. I was ready to take back that unicorn comment, when my dad repeated it again in his teasing voice. He then explained, “Did you not know that P.I.G. stands for Pretty Indian Girl.” Ha. Ha. Typical Native humor. I laughed for a good five seconds.

-I am an advocate for monsters.

Yes I am. Unfortunately, I cannot yet put that on my CV. Honestly, the only reason I would want to obtain a law degree would be to defend this severely underrepresented class of creatures. My current efforts are to track down these monsters and have a heart to heart discussion. That is all I can write on that project for now.