Men and Matthew McConaughey

There is no denying that Matthew McConaughey is universally loved by most women and all MEN. Ha ha ha. As a young girl, my dad enjoyed lecturing my sister and me about the type of guy he wanted us to date and marry. I could devote a separate blog to those stories for they are sure to induce laughter. For example, one fine day, years ago, my sister and I were chatting about what constituted a "good-looking" guy (which is different from The Ideal Man). We were referencing the features of Hollywood celebrities in our Frankenstein construction of the "most gorgeous man in the universe." We thought our dad was oblivious to Hollywood actors, but he surprised us by eavesdropping on the conversation. He nonchalantly interjected the statement, "You girls are silly. We all know Matthew McConaughey is the man you are trying to describe." Ha ha ha ha ha. That was our response then and now. 

Today, a colleague described last night's episode of South Park. He asked if I was familiar with the car commercial featuring none other than Matthew McConaughey. I had to admit that I was not familiar with it. He told me to look it up and watch it. Then, he said, "I don't know why, but I really like Matthew McConaughey. He is a cool guy." I simply smiled because that is the typical response I hear from guys, no matter the generation or there origins. Men from Arizona, Minnesota, Michigan, California, and Utah are unanimous in their love for the man called McConaughey. 

And so I watched the commercial and I share it with you now. I can understand his strange appeal to American men. 

Or this one...

And finally this one...

Enjoy!

A month in review

Tomorrow will mark one month of daily blog post writing! Two more posts, today and mañana, and I will have met my personal challenge. Go me. Of course the conclusion of my month-of-writing falls on the day I am assigned to give lab meeting, which means this post must be short because I have a thriller science story to complete before tomorrow morning. Ha. 

I admit, this has not been an easy task. Blimey, I wanted to give up one week into the endeavor. Turns out that post (see I Immediately regret this decision!) was in the top five of most popular posts. I think it was the misleading powers of Kel Mitchell and Will Ferrell combined. 

For those who endured through my odes to math, you should not be surprised that a math post would be one of my popular pieces of writing. This is especially true when you use it for mental strength to get through Halloween horror mazes or maybe it was because I attached another Hollywood name to it (see Blankets, Math, & Antonio Banderas)? That particular post rounded out the top five of most read posts. 

The posts that earned the top three spots were expected. I will be sure to address similar topics in the future. In third place was "Everyone needs to be a Navajo". I have a couple thoughts about the Navajo tradition of running in the morning (loosely titled Greeting the Holy People) and an analysis of A Brave New World that I still need to write up. I am looking forward to discussion of those posts with others. 

In second place was "California vs Minnesota", which is downright hilarious to me. Minnesotans display a pride for their state that rivals Texans. I love Minnesota and will always think fondly of the place. Yet, I am enjoying California because it is both familiar to my senses and ridiculous. Earlier this year, a dear Minnesota friend asked the standard, "How's California treating you?" In reply, I quoted Fitzgerald who wrote in The Great Gatsby, "I was within and without, simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life." Isn't that the truth? I need to write more about my adventures here. I have not covered Korean BBQ, the cupcake ATM, or beach time shenanigans.

In first place was "Is an engaged person fair game?" I am not surprised one bit. Everyone loves to read about relationships-- the awkwardness at the beginning, the frustration of figuring someone out, the many questions as to conducting oneself properly. I have many thoughts on this topic. It is a fun topic because the stories never end! Men and women are silly and make for great entertainment. 

Of all the posts I wrote this month, my favorite were Phenomenal Woman, What's in a Name?, Evolution in Action, and The blacksheep artist. This is sort of funny because the focus in all these posts is moi (I have a drop of narcissism) or members of my family. They make me laugh. I have more examples of the differences that separate me from my siblings. It's a good thing that we all get along. We make powerful teams. 

Future blog posts that I will get to as soon as I can are "The World is Falling Apart", "The Zombie Apocalypse", "Markets run our life", and "Urban Indian". 

Wish me luck on my lab meeting presentation!

A black and white picture of a "Harry Potter dog" that serves as a reminder of the creative genius of homo sapiens. This picture is tacked to the board by my lab desktop. You can all count on future Harry Potter posts :)

A magical mixer

I have put my thinking cap on to create a viable dating site for witches, wizards, and muggles. As I figure out the magic to do so (e.g. coding), I thought it helpful to share a draft of how my thoughts (generated by questions) will shape the ...uh... future sorting site. 

Practical questions:
1) Can a wizard or witch date a muggle? 

Absolutely! But it might be tricky because muggles are weird. An extension of that question is-- what is the success rate of those relationships? One happy example in the Harry Potter canon include Ted Tonks, a muggle, and Andromeda, of the great house Black, who married and produced the charming Nymphadora. On a darker note, there are three relationships that come to mind that were less than ideal: Merope Gaunt and Tom Riddle Sr., parents to the miscreants of all villains-- Lord Voldemort; Eileen Prince and Tobias Snape, parents to the devilishly intelligent Severus Snape; and Kendra and Percival Dumbledore, parents to the greatest wizard in the series, Albus Dumbledore. Why are these 'less than ideal' relationships? Starting with Voldy's padres, Merope, a pure-blood descendant of Salazar, beguiled Tom Riddle with a drug (Amortentia potion). That is ... sad. Pathetic really. Her love for the snotty muggle led her to desperate measures. Tom Riddle Jr. did not know anything of love because he never experienced it in his life time. He was deprived of one of the greatest loves--that of a mother's love--because she died as a result of heartbreak. 

Switching to the Snape household, this was an unfortunate relationship because Tobias was abusive. What made him a time bomb? I don't know. I can only speculate that perhaps he felt intimidated by the magical powers of his wife and son? I wonder if Eileen told her husband she was a witch? We all know that she could have turned him into a toad, but unfortunately, it seems as though she did not. Something was off in that marriage and poor Severus was roped into it. He matured to adulthood and through out the course of his life he made some poor decisions, but because of friendship-- which is a powerful form of love-- he also made some brave decisions. Returning to his parents relationship, perhaps if there was more understanding, communication, kindness, etc. Severus would have avoided the mistakes of his youth? Once again, the muggle and witch relationship did more harm than good. 

Last example is that of the Dumbledore's. This was, for the most part, a positive relationship because it produced the greatest wizard of the century--Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. The reason I included it as a 'darker note' was because of the result of what happened to Dumbledore's family. Albus's mother, Kendra, was a muggle who descended from a Native tribe in America (I will argue this point every day of my life)! She married the pure-blood wizard, Percival. Of course that strong magical gene was passed on to their three children. Due to the foolishness of muggles, Ariana (sister to Albus) was tortured as a young child because she displayed magic, which frightened the muggle boys. Percival, retaliated in defense of his daughter and was sent to prison (Azkaban). Ariana was forever scarred by the unfortunate incident. Her muggle mother took care of her, but in the end was killed by the erratic magic that burst forth from Ariana. I imagine the Dumbledore marriage was full of happiness, hope, and love. I am sure that Kendra, though non-magical, had to summon an insurmountable amount of patience for her magically strong children and husband. Their magic was never meant to be bottled up. A muggle who marries a witch or wizard must be able to handle the unpredictability of magic. That's just the simple truth of it. 

2) Would a Slytherin date a Gryffindor? Or vice versa? And what are the best combination of Hogwarts houses? 

Ha, of course it is feasible for students from different houses to date one another: Severus, a Slytherin, loved Lily, a Gryffindor; Harry, a Gryffindor, had interest in Cho Chang, a Ravenclaw, who also charmed Cedric Diggory, a Hufflepuff! The real question becomes, "are there lasting relationships between couples from different houses?" Again, the answer is "of course!" Look at Tonks, a Hufflepuff, and Remus Lupin, a Gryffindor. Alas, I cannot think of other relationships in which students from different houses married one another... Neville Longbottom, a Gryffindor, married Hannah Abbot of Hufflepuff! That's a cute coupling that I am pleased to mention. 

Skipping to the next question, I think the best combination of couples from different houses would be Slytherin and Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Gryffindor, and Slytherin and Gryffindor. Why? 

• I think a Ravenclaw and Slytherin couple would make quite an intelligent team. Witty, charming, efficient and ambitious. Oh my, they would be one of those power couples in the business world. 

• I think a Gryffindor needs their ego stroked by someone who is more likely to give it, like Hufflepuff. Ha. No further comment needed.

• I love the idea of a person from Slytherin and a person from Gryffindor because of the image of fire and ice. This relationship would be full of gusto, excitement, surprise, and perhaps the greatest heartbreak. 

And this concludes the post for today. I am still working out the kinks as to how I "magically sort" two people. Ha ha ha. Whatevs. My main concern is how easily this post was written. I need to prepare my lab meeting presentation, not writing about Harry Potter stuff!!!  

The blacksheep artist

Oft times I have acknowledged that I am a blacksheep in the Lowman clan. This is most evident when it comes to the arts and the creative force behind it. Let me take you through the many ways that I have tried, semi-tried, and failed at being artsy.

First off, when it comes to food, I take full responsibility for my failures. I am not fond of cooking, baking, or even frosting cookies and cupcakes. Despite my lack of interest, there should be some things that I can do right, right? No comment. (As I wrote this, I burned my microwaveable turkey pot pie.)

I could not eat the bottom and sides because it was burned.

When it comes to the written word, I am... improving. Writing stories, poems, or lyrics always resulted in a headache when I was younger. I detested writing exercises as a kid, which probably contributed to the headache that formed. In contrast, my younger brother was quite the storyteller in grade school. His teacher published his story and the legend of his main character, Stetson, followed him through to middle school. My sister and older brother were also blessed by Apollo. Their poetry is deep, emotionally raw, powerful to read and grasp. It still blows me away when I return to their writings, which came so effortlessly. My grand piece of work? In 1998, following the loss of the University of Arizona Wildcats to the University of Utah in the NCAA basketball tournament, I penned a poem that rhymed. It was my first and only poem that rhymed and it came as a result of a mini-depression for my cats defeat. (Don't judge the impetus of a person's sadness... Granted mine was silly in the grand scheme of life, so go ahead and shake your head.)


One would think that my one artistic claim is through music because I can play the piano and classical guitar, but you would be mistaken. I can read music flawlessly because that is a technical process. When it comes to improvising, I struggle. Again this is not true for my siblings, such as my sister who earned herself an A+ in her high school independent music course because she "played from the heart" (translation: she didn't practice a classical piece of music, so she winged it the day of her recital). My sister oozes with creative thinking and skill. A year ago, I wanted to make a pillow dress for my niece Melodie. I went to a service project in Minneapolis in which the basic steps were demonstrated. All that is required is a pillow, scissors, ribbon, and a sewing machine. Simple enough, right? No. Camille had everything and she was eager to learn. I started the dress and got so far as to cut the fabric. I kid you not, that was my contribution and dismal teaching performance. Basically, we learned that my sewing skills are perfect for dressing a house elf.

Dobby, a free house elf.
Google Image

My sister, on the other hand, finished off the dress for Melodie without further instruction from me. 

I believe my expression when she sent the picture was something along the lines of "Are those stinking ruffles?!"

When it comes to creativity for the visual arts, the gods simply overlooked my cradle and blessed my siblings abundantly. My older brother, in particular, was favored by the muses and Michelangelo. He is in a league all unto himself. Art teachers of the Page Unified School District knew this and they welcomed his masterful pieces. I was always in awe of his work. In high school, for my art elective, I decided to take a ceramics class. The year prior I took a photography class and the focus of my project was a pair of running shoes. That is how bad I was at the whole creativity thing. Anyway, in ceramics class, we learned how to make our clay, throw it on the wheel, mold it, fire up the kiln, cook, and stain our ceramic art work. I was, surprisingly, mediocre. In fact, the only piece of art work (made by me) that my parents display in their home to this day, is a relic from that ceramics class. It would be fair to say that if I had to honor the Greek gods with my best art work, this miraculous clay head would be it.

He doesn't even have a name. I call it "clay head". He is a miracle because he should have exploded in the kiln since I did not hollow his head out. I don't know why I chose a blue hat with yellow trimming. Methinks it was probably the closest color within my reach. I honestly don't know why my dad insists on keeping it. This "clay head" will continue to be a mystery to me, perhaps that is why it is art?

Despite my inability to create something worth eating, hearing, reading, or seeing, I compensate with my enthusiasm as a receiver of the arts. I love literature, whether it be poetry, plays, or novels. I love music of all sorts. I am in awe of the arts--painting, drawing, sculpting, photography, animation, etc. Fortunately for me, I grew to appreciate the beauty of these things because of the talents of my family, specifically those of my siblings. I think my persistence and drive to learn was a result of proving that I could perform just as well as they did. Of course that did not happen because their abilities were unrivaled. In time, I found my strength (in math, ha ha), but the determination to put my best foot forward began with those early attempts to be an artist. 



One last example of the difference in talent between myself and my brother.

My attempt to draw Greg Kinnear in August of this year. Ha ha ha ha...

August of last year, my brother uploaded this to his Facebook page. How can we be related? He is art and I am science. As my younger brother so eloquently puts it, "He is street and I am books." Ha ha. If you are interested in more art work, specifically dermal illustrations, done by my brother check out his instagram (lowman3zero) pics.

Travel bucket list

There are five places that have long held a spell over me. I recall the moment the enchantments were cast. Rather than wane over time, the magic that binds me to these places has only waxed stronger. Now, I share with you the hopes of an uncaged bird to fly to these places in the next ten years.

1) New Zealand: I fell in love with this country in high school. The Lord of the Rings trilogy was a huge factor. It is not in my nature to simply watch a movie without reading the book. Upon reading the book, I couldn't help but become obsessed with the movie magic. I quickly realized the setting for the movie was as integral to the storytelling as the actors who played a significant role in it. Among my many quirks (in particular during the Wildcat years), I would regularly read the New Zealand Herald. Why? I don't have a good answer for that question. I think I just wanted to be prepared. Ha ha. Whenever I needed a break from studying and other mundane things, I would plan out my trip to New Zealand because there is so much to do!

Image from New Zealand Adventure

2) Vietnam on a motor bike! I fell in love with this idea when I watched an episode of Top Gear (UK) in which the trio [Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammon, and James May] rode motor bikes from Ho Chi Minh City in the south to Ha Long in the north. They were supposed to cover ~1000 miles in eight days, which they did, but not all of it was done on their scooters. The video footage of the places they stopped were breathtaking.

Vietnam is truly stunning.

3) Antarctica: This is probably my most recent fascination. I love cosmology and astronomy. More than a year ago, I was reading some science article about premiere research taking place in the South Pole. Turns out, Antarctica is the ideal place to look at the heavens. It is high in altitude, dark through out the winter, and the air is dry. All of these reduce atmospheric interference, allowing a clearer view of the night sky. This place is definitely a bucket list place to travel.

Photo credit: Daniel Luong-Van/Antarctic Photo Library

4) Ireland: I love the name of the country. I love their culture. They herd sheep and eat mutton, just like Navajos! I love the color green and whenever I have seen photos of this country, green floods the picture. (Like Kermit the frog, I am fond of green.) I think my interest in this country preceded my interest in New Zealand. When I was a little girl, my sister wanted to visit the traditional European countries: Italy, France, England. I was more interested in Africa, China, and India. If prodded to consider European countries, Ireland was my first answer. As a big girl, I now have interest in many European countries because of their contributions to art and literature. Yet my heart still longs to visit Ireland first. I feel like it would be a fun place to run a marathon. Ha.

This makes me happy. (Image from United Kingdom and Ireland Tours)

5) Kenya: Little Xazmin wanted to visit Africa, which is silly because it is so LARGE! When I went to college, I made many friends from various countries in Africa. I loved their sense of  humor, their perspective on life, and their genuine friendliness. As a graduate student, I met the dearest of Kenyans. I made quite the impression on them and their families back home. I resolved a few years ago that I would one day visit them and enjoy the beauty of their home. I look forward to there amazing sunsets with the silhouettes of my power animal, the elephant, along with giraffes and other animals.

Google image

Math is beautiful and this post won't do it justice!

I have always been fond of the quote, "Math is the language of the universe." A future blog post will reveal how my sentiment separates me from my family. (The tale of right brained people who grew to accept and even love a left brained person.) Returning to math, I am continually amazed by how it makes things far more interesting. Yesterday, I read a couple of articles that made me giddy. I wanted to share, but it was too late to do so, and so now you can read for yourself. 

I read the first article during my Friday morning reading block. It's a bit grim, but it piqued my interest because of the title, The ominous math of the Ebola epidemic from the Washington Post. The article brings up exponential growth (for the spread of the virus), percentages of the effort required by communities to contain the virus, concrete numbers of healthcare workers that are needed in the area, and so much more. Whenever I read such a thing, I can't help but review the logic behind the math. I suppose it should not have been a surprise that math would be my defense mechanism for Halloween Horror Night.  

I read the second article late last night. This was a super fun read. The article is a special report in Runner's World titled, What Will It Take To Run A 2-Hour Marathon? Oh man, the graphs are something beautiful, collected data, timed splits, and so much more. READ it! Check it out. I loved it. 

And to leave you with another plug for math, check out the YouTube videos of this girl who "doodles" in Math class. I have always been a fan of her videos. Enjoy!

Blood of Olympus

Yesterday, I finished reading Blood of Olympus. It wasn't as epic as Riordan's previous books featuring the demi-gods, but he delivered big time with one story line of characters (which I will try not to reveal because of my stance on spoiler free posts). Whatever my expectations, the adventure was worth it. Through out the journey of reading the same book, my sister and I will divulge our thoughts to each other. We are mindful of each others progress. Unfortunately, this may lead to name calling and hurt feelings. But this post does not dwell on such awful moments! 

Last year, when House of Hades was released, I was in Tucson, AZ with my sister and her family. Upon finishing the book, I wrote a post in which I created a playlist for HoH. This time, I have decided to post a few nuggets of texts, dialogue, and conversation between me and my sister.

October 7, 2014

Blood of Olympus is
$13.99 at Target -C

I'm picking it up after

lab!! -X

 Oh Styx...

[see Evolution in Action]

October 8, 2014

What page or chapter are you on? -C

Nico Chapter 16, page

159. You? -X

I've only had an hour to 

read but i'm on page 89, 

Leo, Chapter 9

Okay. If I ever have children, 

I will name them Nico, 

Leo, and Percy. In that order.

Seth is my little Coach Hedge.

[Because he was throwing foam shapes at 

my sisters head. Words cannot describe how much

I love that little boy.]

October 9, 2014

GRRRR, I CANT READ FAST ENOUGH! 
[Text the girl who covered 445 pages in a few hours]

What page are you on?

I finished the book.
[Less than one hour after sending the above text]

I have also finished the book.

[8:09 PM or ~4 hours later... I was doing my
cancer research gig]

BAM! I predicted [spoiler]. 

I thought you said this
morning that you read
 about [spoiler] somewhere.

Psh, I said predict, not I read.

No. I think you've been trolling
 Rick Riordan sites and he hinted
 at [blank] and [blank].

I don't troll, your disbelief in my
reading skills is upsetting.

The next morning...

Ready to talk about the book?

Phone conversation

"Reyna is my favorite Roman

and I'll forever be mad at the gods

...especially Zeus."

...

"I don't like the demi-gods who
are in relationships" (e.g. Piper and Jason,
Percy and Annabeth, Frank and Hazel) 

"I don't mind them. I like their stories."

"I don't like them because of this

 this and this reason..."

"Blimey! Will this be like Harry Potter 

and the Order of the Phoenix all over again!

How many times will I need to come to the

defense of these demi-gods and wizards?!" 

Of course the text and dialogue above are spoiler-free snippets of lengthier conversations. There are many more in which my sister threatened to not even read this particular book because she wanted everyone (which is basically me and her husband) to feel her torment when The Mark of Athena came out two years ago. At the time, I was writing my dissertation and did not find the time to squeeze it into my schedule until 7-8 months after its release. She had nobody to talk to about the prophecies contained in the book for nearly an entire year ... Poor girl, it really set her on edge. It's probably one more reason why she loves Nico so much. They have a shared experience. 

Happy Leif Erickson Day

A couple days ago, a lab mate and I chatted about the recent decision of the Seattle City Council to change Christopher Columbus Day to Indigenous Peoples' Day. It was a congenial conversation between a Michigan born, Italian descended man and an Arizona raised, Navajo woman. Ha.* 

The details of the conversation escape me. There was something about "Columbus not even discovering America, but landing on the islands south of the huge land mass", "Cortez being the worst crook",  "Why all the vitriol against Colombus?", and if there should be someone to really blame, "why not Leif Erikson?" Of course this soon was replaced with the statement, "We should celebrate Leif Erikson day!" I Googled it and guess what? The day has already been declared! Today, October 9, 2014, is officially Leif Erickson day!

All jokes aside, the fun chat with my colleague stirred thoughts that have been haunting my psyche for quite sometime. These thoughts have to do with being a Native American in this century. Unlike many Natives, I do not harbor much angst against Columbus. I appreciate his profession as an explorer**, just as I do Leif Erikson, Lewis and Clark, and the first wave of people that crossed the Bering Strait. History was changed as we now know it. There are many reasons to love life as it is today because of the wealth of knowledge! My feelings on this subject has been construed as weak... even simpleminded. Do not mistake my optimistic outlook as naive. I simply cannot change the past, I do not have the power of a Time Lord. I do however, have control as to how I react to historical and continuing injustices. I can choose to be hardworking. I can choose to educate myself. I can choose to treat others with respect. Basically, I have the power of the present to do good now. 


*This is funny because there are some Italian Americans who have voiced their offense of the change because they are losing out on their cultural celebration. In my mind, just do away with the commemoration of Columbus. Find another way to honor those who are indigenous to this land. One day to honor them is not enough. 

**Explorers are like scientists... or scientists are explorers. Of course I am fascinated with them!

Google Image

Motorcycle club

Today's post will be short because I have a major demi-god quest to complete...

I have always been comfortable with the idea of getting old. [see Troll doll or Tanana?] One of the adventures I look forward to is that of joining a motorcycle gang. Laugh, roll your eyes, re-read the sentence if you must, but my dream remains. Before I ever heard or read anything of Bikers Against Child Abuse (B.A.C.A), I was fascinated with the idea of life on the open road with a hog. After reading about B.A.C.A (more than a year ago), the fascination turned into an excited wish. 

For those unfamiliar with B.A.C.A, check out their website and the youTube video below.

These guys and gals are winners for participating in such a cause. Bikers are a tough group. I am well aware of their reputation. "Winners" may not be the first word that comes to mind to describe such a rough group, which is why I admire them even more. They are my kind of people. (To my cred, I have been called both "tough" and "rough" by some City of Hope grad student. I have also been called "scrappy" and "scruffy" by anonymous family members.)

As I've sat in LA traffic, I've given considerable thought to buying a motorcycle. This naturally directs my thoughts to biker adventures and eventually to the lovely question, "what will be my road name?!" I have a few names in mind like Skillz and Scraps, but to amuse myself, I went online to see what name could be generated. 

This is what it spit back:

Evolution in action

Fangirl (Urban Dictionary definition)

A rabid breed of human female who is obsessed with either a fictional character or an actor. Similar to the breed of fanboy. Fangirls congregate at anime conventions and livejournal. Have been known to glomp, grope, and tackle when encountering said obsessions.

 --to glomp (Urban Dictionary definition)

It is the action of one person lovingly (and dramatically) attacking another with a hug. A glomp is often predatory and lies somewhere in the grey area between a caring embrace, and a flying leap to tackle someone. 

Given my past blog posts, it is fair to say, I am quite fond of such creatures. The definition from above is informative enough, but it excludes many ingredients that constitute a fangirl. One of their qualities will ensure their survival in years to come. Let me tell you why...

Today (October the seventh of the year two thousand fourteen) the fifth book to The Heroes of Olympus series was released. That is major news... if you are or ever were a middle school bookworm. Forget that I began reading the preceding Percy Jackson series as a graduate student (well beyond my middle school years). The love of fiction, especially that of young adult material, was never abandoned. Rather it was increased during those intense years because it contrasted so starkly with the scientific literature that consumed my life. It was a lifeline for my sanity.

Because of my great love of literature, which began at a young age, I knew the tricks that came with book releases.* It comes down to three basic rules: arrive early, be patient, and be aware of the layout of the store. Simple enough? Well, I did not adhere to my wisdom today. In the past, The Heroes of Olympus books were always plentifully stocked on the Target shelves. I figured I would buy the book after work. (I'm shaking my head AND rolling my eyes too!) As I stood in front of the empty shelf merrily talking to my sister on the phone, dismay at my idiocy began to set in. I started to walk in circles, dramatically exclaiming the predicament to my sister. She didn't believe me, which is probably why I became more animated in my explanation that I would have to go all over Los Angeles. As I turned to leave my well-trodden 3x3 square, my large eyes noticed a bulky-ish book hidden behind some boring paperback adult novels. I strode over to correct the mismatch when to my surprise, I pulled this out:

The Blood of Olympus by Rick Riordan. This book has been on my calendar for a year.

I became as happy as Gollum when he reclaimed his precious from Frodo. As I told my sister the miraculous happenings, I noticed a middle-aged woman staring at the book that I waved around in victory. She had also walked by the empty shelf a few seconds after I did, but she showed no signs of a pending panic attack like I had. I then realized she was probably looking for the book for her child. As I whispered my conjecture to my sister, who began to urge me to give it up, I noticed another woman rolling her cart to the empty shelf. She was on the phone and I heard her exclaim, "They are all out. Ha ha ha ha. The book is sold out!" I was giving my sister livefeed of the occasion and she then took it upon herself to become the little angel that stood on my shoulder. She demanded I give it to one of them,  to think of the children, to be a kind person, etc. As you will see in the picture below, I did not give in to her advice. Hopefully, my selfish reasons can be explained. First of all, the happiness at finding that book can be likened to winning the lottery, which will never happen to me. Second, I think this was a more important lesson for the kids to learn. My parents did not buy my books. If I wanted something, I had to earn it for myself (hence, patience). Additionally, those kids who do send their mom or dad on an errand will quickly learn that their parent's time does not revolve around a book release. They will put it on their to-do list in the late afternoon or evening when the shelves have been emptied by zealous bookworms who made it a priority to get their early. So you see, this story is a fine example of evolution in action. My speed (more like timing) from the car to the books was quick. I noticed that the women had visited other areas of the store because their carts were full of stuff. That drive on my end contributed to my fortune. My big eyes gave me the advantage of detecting a small inconsistency in the books. This was critical since it led me to the prize. And lastly, my curiosity (and perhaps a drop of OCD) caused me to check it out, which yielded me the book. Fangirls are quick to act, keenly aware, reasonable, and ruthless. We imbibe the traits of the characters we love.*

The end.***

*A resume of my relationship with books will show when, where, and with whom I was with for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Catching Fire, Mockingbird, Lost Hero, The Son of Neptune, The Mark of Athena, The House of Hades, The Riddle, The Crow, The Singing (Pellinor series), Peter and the Secrets of Rundoon, Peter and the Sword of Mercy, etc... (Blimey, this is less than half the list ...)

**Fangirls are actually quite nice and the most pleasant of human beings. I'm of Slytherin house, which is no excuse, but for the Pot-heads out there, maybe my choice is better understood? My sister is a wonderful example of a lovable fangirl. 

***Karma is real. I kept the book in my basket and left the scene to grab some creamy peanut butter (I depleted my stock yesterday). Will you believe that I COULD NOT FIND IT!?! I looked and looked and my sister just laughed and laughed. So I have the book, but no PB&J sandwich to eat as I read through the night. :(

Is an engaged person fair game?

Yes! 

During an Oktoberfest meal in September, a group of friends brought up the ever mysterious subject of dating and engagements. One person paraphrased a comment he heard recently from a patron* of enduring relationships: If she is not married, she is fair game. It was made clear that this comment included engaged women. Ever representing the minority of opinions, I agreed. I admit that it sounds a bit weird to agree with such a statement, but after exercising some metacognition, I figured out the reason behind my assent. 

Before I answer, let me preface that I understand the sensible answer of "No, an engaged couple are clearly committed to one another, and therefore NOT on the market." Personally, if I met an engaged man, any motive for a romantic relationship would be extinguished. I would respect his choice of a person and offer my best wishes because I am a fan of such endeavors. The same is true of the woman who accepts his proposal. I would hope that the man she chooses is her best companion, fellow adventurer, cheerleader, etc.  

So how do my thoughts go askew?

I reckon there are many responses that I can share to defend my initial answer, ranging from a long-winded, yet highly analytic reply** to the classic response of quoting another person, preferably one with clout. I have opted to share my initial and most favored response to the title question first and the rest in the footnotes.

Like Howard Wolowitz, "I am a romantic"...of the idealistic, literary sort. I love the stories of men and women, boys and girls, who face their fears--whether it be in the physical form of a bully or an intangible fear or doubt. I champion those brave souls who 'don't give up' on someone because they are dating (or engaged to) another person (below). Mind you, I recognize that there is a line that separates the lovesick fool from the creepy stalker. I favor the fool over the stalker.*** Not to dismiss the pragmatic part of me, I think the engagement period is an opportune time to figure out a lot of things, including the depth of your feelings. 

 

Sun Tzu sums it up the best, "All is fair in love and war."  

*bishop or religious leader (in this case of a congregation of young single adults)

**The pedantic, feminist tirade. This was the most challenging to write up. It started as an intuitive concept that underwent extensive analysis. It is probably the answer most subject to critique as well, but here goes... I purposely pointed out the power to choose above. Why? Because the more I thought about courtship and marriage through out history and in different societies, I detected an imbalance of freedom between genders that I could not shake. Let's think about it. Historically, men were the pursuers (a strong noun indicating the power to choose, to capture). They had to be pro-active (another strong word) in choosing their mate--the bearer, nurturer, mother to their progeny. They would want the best vessel to carry out that task. Logically, young women were deemed ideal marriage material. What did women get in return? Protection, financial security, approval of society, opportunity to teach/influence future generations. Arguments for whether or not those were equal trade-offs can be discussed elsewhere. Notwithstanding, it is obvious that marriage was, more or less, a business transaction between families, with the details worked out by the patriarchs. This is the imbalance of freedoms between genders that I refer to earlier. Let's fast forward to the 21st century, in which courtship has changed, especially in western societies. Men are no longer pursuing with the same chivalry of bygone eras and women are becoming more educated, independently secure, financial breadwinners, etc. Some could argue, the rules have been redefined. Again, I am not going to address that topic. Pertinent to my thoughts, I asked, are women and men on equal grounds when it comes to courtship? The answer, although not as imbalanced as prior generations, was still "yes". Rape culture and domestic violence are both prevalent in America. Information on both topics can be easily obtained. Though women are making strides professionally, they are still subject to abuse--mentally, physically, sexually, emotionally. So how does this relate to the original question posed in the title?!? It goes back to the word choice. Fair "game"? That implies ownership of a person. I emphasize choice on behalf of the engaged couple because if they are both on the same page, then more power to their future. But if there is an imbalance, I can easily imagine how resentment, pride, and other ill manners may creep into the relationship and doom it before it even begins. I admit I have little experience on this topic in general. My thoughts are not stagnant and I am sure my opinion on this topic will continue to evolve as I learn from the stories of others and myself.  

***The exception being any fool in Westeros. I get a creepy vibe with that lot.

What's in a name?

I know my name can be a challenge to read, spell, and pronounce. It is in every sense 'unique'. I have come to appreciate it for its distinct sound and spelling. In all my years, I have only met one person who, upon reading it, pronounced it correctly. She worked at the University of Arizona in the Office of the Registrar. I recall that memory so vividly. The terrible statistics regarding the mispronunciation of my name dawned upon me at that time. I had never hated my name because it was given to me. It became a part of me, an identifier of my personality, and I loved me. Yet, I was conflicted. I knew that through out my life, I would need to correct, instruct, and repeat to others how to say my name. You see, my name does not follow the designated sounds of English phonetics. I tried to circumvent this as a graduate student, when I taught an undergraduate microbiology class for a couple semesters. In the signature of my email, I put in parentheses "Ha-z/s-mean". It's hard to say if it worked or not. The students picked up on the correct pronunciation pretty quickly. However, if their life depended on the correct spelling of my name, few would have lived. My name is spelled with six letters: X-A-Z-M-I-N. There is no "H", "S" nor an "E", which is a common mistake to make. Fortunately, I am not picky when it comes to the spelling. My name hearkens back to an older era of Spanish usage, when "X" sounded like "H' (e.g think of Xavier, which nowadays is spelled Javier). The Spanish pronunciation of the letter Z may be the cause of confusion for those who spell my name with S rather than Z. The "I" sounds like a long "E" and voila, with all those hints you get Xazmin. Ha. 

But whatever I have written thus far about my name is trivial. In truth, I love the complexity, the trickery, the oddity of its letters and sounds. I also love the beauty of what it represents, which brings me to the question I am most often asked, "what does Xazmin translate to in English?"

Jasmine flowers (Google image)

Answer: It refers to the Jasmine flower. :)

Today, I found another reason to love my name. As I scrolled through my Facebook newsfeed, I came across a buzzfeed news profile of 16 Women Entrepreneurs in the Arab World. I opened the page and read it. I noticed that three of the sixteen women were named Yasmin* or Yasmine. Quick research on my part revealed Yasmin is derived from the old Persian word for the Jasmine flower, which is native to the regions of the Old World. As I read the short profiles of the work that the highlighted women were engaged in, I smiled and my heart grew two times bigger. Through the power of a shared name, I felt more united with their goals; for I, also, desire to be a force for good in this world. Upon reading their names, I sought to understand my own. I can happily write that I love it more than I did yesterday. My name has migrated through time from Old Persia to Old Spanish to be bestowed upon a descendent of the "New World". It's quite amazing to me.


*profiles below are adapted from Arab Women Rising: 35 Entrepreneurs Making a Difference in the Arab World by Nafeesa Syeed and Rahilla Zafar, published by Knowledge@Wharton, 2014
 
#5. Dr. Yasmin Altwaijri

Yasmin is one of Saudi Arabia’s most senior scientists and a pioneer in the study of obesity, diabetes, and mental health issues in her country. She hopes that her work can help to raise awareness about mental health issues and lower stigmas associated with the diseases.  

#8. Yasmine El-Mehairy

Egyptian Yasmine El-Mehairy found herself frustrated that there was no online platforms that resonated with many mothers in the Middle East. So she created the pan-Arab parenting site SuperMama, which offers an array for information from pregnancy tips to cooking videos. El-Mehairy made sure that SuperMama is in Arabic and written and produced by Arabs. 

#16. Yasmin Helal

Yasmin Helal is a former pro-basketball player and engineer. Now she’s founded and runs Educate-Me, an initiative in Cairo that works to improve education for underprivileged kids and redefine education.